I was so hungry this morning that I convinced myself I was truly starving. I ate light last night so I didn't go to bed as full and busting like I usually do. When I woke up my stomach was growling like a vicious animal. Oh how I am depriving myself! I think I feel faint. I think my body may be failing due to lack of nourishment! I think...that I'm pathetic. I quickly scarf down a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich made on whole wheat (whole wheat!) bread with a deep fervor as if the world is coming to an end and this peanut butter and jelly sandwich is my only hope. Ooh, much better. I go online to check email and apply for more jobs. I'm excited to find that on one of the sites that I post this on, that a few people have left comments which makes me feel great.
After applying online to a bunch of useless and dead end job, I am exhausted and starving once again. I decide to take a nap in order to not order that pizza I have been daydreaming about. But then, no joke, I dream about the pizza during the whole nap.
I wake up and try to control these horribly unbearable and torturous hunger pains. I watch some HGTV, which usually makes me happy but I'm conflicted as I wrestle with the dilemma of what I will eat for the rest of the day. I'm hurting inside! I feel so lost!
I've decided that if I want to eat something unhealthy that I might as well do it while the day is still early and just eat something healthier at night. As a gift to myself, for all my strength and courage in this difficult time, I award myself with homemade macaroni and cheese. My homemade macaroni and cheese is delicious and fills me with joy and delight. My method is expert.p Usually, I take a box of penne, our it in the pot until it's completely full. When fully cooked, I start adding actual slices of American Cheese. Deli bought. Not those shitty Kraft Singles. Hey, I have some class here. I use some milk and spray butter (you know, to be on the healthy side). When it's done, it's a gigantic heaping plateful of fantasticness and deliciousness. In fact, it's inspirational!
But wait! I'm trying to be good! Okay, this is what I'll do. I measure out one cup of whole wheat penne. I take only two slices of cheese. I make my pasta feeling disappointed as I stare at that teeny tiny minuscule portion. My macaroni and cheese looks sad and tiny in it's pasta bowl barely even filled halfway.
OK wait. I must make a confession. While I was adding the cheese, I noticed a third lonely slice. I wrestled with my emotions over this sad little sliver. I HAD to add him. It was only fair. And a sprinkle of Parmesan. Please don't judge me!
I refrain from the urge to shovel the macaroni in my mouth and try to eat as s l o w l y as I can. By the time the bowl is empty, believe it or not, I feel full! I'm in shock!
OK, yeah yeah, I ate unhealthy. But you can only ask so much of me at a time. Patience is key my friends.
And I have a nice can of vegetable soup planned for dinner. BORING. Find out tomorrow to find out how the rest of my night turned out!
No comments:
Post a Comment