When I began writing this, I imagined it would purely be about food. But I think anyone who eats a lot of food knows that emotions and life experiences play a big part of eating, especially when you’re an over-eater.
Life is a little difficult right now. I have been working my ass off to find a job. But there’s literally nothing out there. It’s frustrating. I feel like I have so much to give and I’m so anxious to work hard but there’s no opportunities presented at this moment.
So today I ate. And ate. And ate some more. I ate one of those nasty butterscotch TastyKakes this morning that my boyfriends father sent him in the mail. Damn you Ted Sr. I don’t even like that crap! But I ate it anyway. My boyfriend left for work around 11:30am and then I made myself a grilled cheese on the panini press. I then slept until 4pm. Seriously. I could have continued sleeping but I felt I was wasting the day. So I woke up and ate almost an entire box of those crappy Gusher’s fruit snacks. And I savored each and every Gusher. Then I ate TWO 100 calorie popcorn bags. Then I ate some other kind of fruit snack and just polished off another grilled cheesy.
Holy crap. It’s 8:00pm and I’ve eaten enough food for a day and a half.
OK, now it’s 11:29pm. I got bored writing and got caught up in The Bachelor, which was an extreme disappointment. I can understand falling for someone and ending a relationship, but did it really need to be done on national television? ABC should be ashamed.
I haven’t eaten anything else. I resisted. But I’m still feeling crappy. I am completely unfunny and uninspired today so I’m going to end my writing for today in a minute.
I miss my puppies. I need a job. No one will approve me for medical insurance. And my boyfriend’s bosses won’t let him come home from work yet.
Goodnight.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Day 3, 4, and 5: We Stumble and Fall
I haven’t written for 3 whole days because frankly, I didn’t feel like it and I wanted to dedicate my weekend to spending some real quality time with my boyfriend. However, quality time with my boyfriend always include FOOD because he just happens to love it as much as I do. Although he wouldn’t describe his food experiences in as much of an “energetic” way as I would.
Day 3 was great because we thought Theo had to work but he didn’t! We decided to just lay low and hang around the apartment watching movies and TV. We ate a couple sandwiches, some fruit snacks, and corn chowder soup. All in all, we behaved better than usual. The fruit snacks we had were actually healthy ones and I didn’t eat any of the corn chowder soup. Theo ate it all. Fat Ass ☺.
I really thought that because I have been eating so much lighter than usual that my stomach would be in much better shape than it usually is. But I was completely wrong. My stomach feels like there’s an ever-expanding balloon inside and has left me feeling like a beached whale all weekend. My sweet boyfriend still managed to make me feel a little pretty when he insisted that we dance around the apartment together. We were uncoordinated and completely ungraceful, but it was cute and fun.
Let’s move on to Day 4, shall we? This was my favorite day of all. We began our day at the glorious Cheesecake Factory. If you’ve never been there, the menu is ginormous and almost all the food is excellent. I ordered my favorite: the Crusted Chicken Romano. The lunch portion! Go me! But ummm, we DID start with an appetizer of their huge ass brushetta. Anyway, back to the dish that really mattered. It’s two thinly pounded chicken breasts enveloped in a light and crispy crust made of Romano cheese. It’s accompanied by penne pasta in a tomato cream sauce. It is honestly amazing. I could tell my boyfriend was a little embarrassed as he watched me eat because of the pleasure noises coming from my mouth with every bite. I ate ALL the chicken but only 1/3 of the pasta. I was quite proud. And because it’s the CHEESECAKE Factory, we HAD to have cheesecake. We decided on the Oreo Mudslide cheesecake made of Oreos, chocolate, and a brownie almondy crust. We devoured it in about 25 seconds. This was the absolute highlight of my weekend.
Later that night we made a true white trash dinner made of food that in no way would ever be connected. Grilled cheeses and an Asian vegetable stir-fry. Made no sense but still tasted delicious.
I’m at the tail end of Day 5 and my stomach is killing me. I’m a little bit pissy. While our lunch trip to Coco’s was great ( I had a mouthwatering cheeseburger with a golden sourdough bread bun thingy), my day just sucked. While cleaning the toilet bowls in the bathrooms, I managed to create a mess. I was scrubbing it with toilet bowl cleaner that apparently has acid in it when I spilled the cleaner all over the sides, got it all over my arms, and splashed it all over my boyfriend’s bathroom (Yes, we have separate bathrooms. Are you crazy?!). He stepped in it, freaked out, ran to my bathroom, and began showering his leg. It was very dramatic and caused me to burst into tears at my inability to be the Martha Stewart type I was aiming for. Right after that, I tried cleaning my bathroom when I spilled a powder bronzer all over my sink area, cabinets (which were JUST painted after I spilled hair dye and stained the front of them), and of course on my adorable striped bath rug which I until this moment didn’t realize my deep love for it. So I cried some more, stomped around the apartment like a 3 year old, and made loud sighing noises in an effort to get my boyfriend to notice my extreme sorrow and make me feel better. Instead he continued doing his taxes and told me to “chill out”. Such a meanie. I need food.
One of my favorite dishes to make when I’m feeling impatient is dish that literally requires almost no work, is actually fairly healthy but tastes like it it’s not. The perfect meal. Preheat the oven to 370 or 400. Whatever, I never do things the right way. All you have to do is lightly brown a few chicken breasts on a skillet. Don’t even bother to cook them all the way through. Then take a can of that Campbell’s Golden Brown Mushroom soup (don’t bother heating it). Put it in a casserole dish and just mix it with some water until its soupy. Put the lightly browned chicken in it and make sure there’s enough soup to almost cover the top of the chicken. If you need to add more soup and water, go for it. Then just put in the oven for about 45 min. And that’s it! All done! It kind of tastes like chicken marsala except much healthier and MUCH easier.
So we ate some chicken, some rice-a-roni, and some steamed vegetables. I feel much better. I’m currently sitting on my couch, getting ready to watch The L Word (Not gay, but love that lesbian drama). I’m still a little pouty but at least my tummy is full.
Tomorrow my boyfriend will go back to work which means it’ll be much easier to eat well again (You’re a horrible influence Theo). However, his sister and her boyfriend are visiting from PA this weekend and I have plans to show off my incredible baking skills, which will show her that my skills are far more dominant than hers. I will rock her. Hard. With a homemade German Chocolate Cake. She doesn’t even stand a chance.
See you tomorrow!
Day 3 was great because we thought Theo had to work but he didn’t! We decided to just lay low and hang around the apartment watching movies and TV. We ate a couple sandwiches, some fruit snacks, and corn chowder soup. All in all, we behaved better than usual. The fruit snacks we had were actually healthy ones and I didn’t eat any of the corn chowder soup. Theo ate it all. Fat Ass ☺.
I really thought that because I have been eating so much lighter than usual that my stomach would be in much better shape than it usually is. But I was completely wrong. My stomach feels like there’s an ever-expanding balloon inside and has left me feeling like a beached whale all weekend. My sweet boyfriend still managed to make me feel a little pretty when he insisted that we dance around the apartment together. We were uncoordinated and completely ungraceful, but it was cute and fun.
Let’s move on to Day 4, shall we? This was my favorite day of all. We began our day at the glorious Cheesecake Factory. If you’ve never been there, the menu is ginormous and almost all the food is excellent. I ordered my favorite: the Crusted Chicken Romano. The lunch portion! Go me! But ummm, we DID start with an appetizer of their huge ass brushetta. Anyway, back to the dish that really mattered. It’s two thinly pounded chicken breasts enveloped in a light and crispy crust made of Romano cheese. It’s accompanied by penne pasta in a tomato cream sauce. It is honestly amazing. I could tell my boyfriend was a little embarrassed as he watched me eat because of the pleasure noises coming from my mouth with every bite. I ate ALL the chicken but only 1/3 of the pasta. I was quite proud. And because it’s the CHEESECAKE Factory, we HAD to have cheesecake. We decided on the Oreo Mudslide cheesecake made of Oreos, chocolate, and a brownie almondy crust. We devoured it in about 25 seconds. This was the absolute highlight of my weekend.
Later that night we made a true white trash dinner made of food that in no way would ever be connected. Grilled cheeses and an Asian vegetable stir-fry. Made no sense but still tasted delicious.
I’m at the tail end of Day 5 and my stomach is killing me. I’m a little bit pissy. While our lunch trip to Coco’s was great ( I had a mouthwatering cheeseburger with a golden sourdough bread bun thingy), my day just sucked. While cleaning the toilet bowls in the bathrooms, I managed to create a mess. I was scrubbing it with toilet bowl cleaner that apparently has acid in it when I spilled the cleaner all over the sides, got it all over my arms, and splashed it all over my boyfriend’s bathroom (Yes, we have separate bathrooms. Are you crazy?!). He stepped in it, freaked out, ran to my bathroom, and began showering his leg. It was very dramatic and caused me to burst into tears at my inability to be the Martha Stewart type I was aiming for. Right after that, I tried cleaning my bathroom when I spilled a powder bronzer all over my sink area, cabinets (which were JUST painted after I spilled hair dye and stained the front of them), and of course on my adorable striped bath rug which I until this moment didn’t realize my deep love for it. So I cried some more, stomped around the apartment like a 3 year old, and made loud sighing noises in an effort to get my boyfriend to notice my extreme sorrow and make me feel better. Instead he continued doing his taxes and told me to “chill out”. Such a meanie. I need food.
One of my favorite dishes to make when I’m feeling impatient is dish that literally requires almost no work, is actually fairly healthy but tastes like it it’s not. The perfect meal. Preheat the oven to 370 or 400. Whatever, I never do things the right way. All you have to do is lightly brown a few chicken breasts on a skillet. Don’t even bother to cook them all the way through. Then take a can of that Campbell’s Golden Brown Mushroom soup (don’t bother heating it). Put it in a casserole dish and just mix it with some water until its soupy. Put the lightly browned chicken in it and make sure there’s enough soup to almost cover the top of the chicken. If you need to add more soup and water, go for it. Then just put in the oven for about 45 min. And that’s it! All done! It kind of tastes like chicken marsala except much healthier and MUCH easier.
So we ate some chicken, some rice-a-roni, and some steamed vegetables. I feel much better. I’m currently sitting on my couch, getting ready to watch The L Word (Not gay, but love that lesbian drama). I’m still a little pouty but at least my tummy is full.
Tomorrow my boyfriend will go back to work which means it’ll be much easier to eat well again (You’re a horrible influence Theo). However, his sister and her boyfriend are visiting from PA this weekend and I have plans to show off my incredible baking skills, which will show her that my skills are far more dominant than hers. I will rock her. Hard. With a homemade German Chocolate Cake. She doesn’t even stand a chance.
See you tomorrow!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Day Two
So that vegetable soup so did not happen. However, I still kept it light enough. I ate another peanut butter & jelly sandwich because I only recently rediscovered how easy and delicious they really are (and saves me some money too). I also enjoyed a cup of coffee with my boyfriend made with our new Farberware Percolator from Bed Bath & Beyond. (Model # FCP412 in case you want to check it out. ) It tastes MUCH better made with one of these nifty things. I also had some tasty fresh strawberries which satisfied my sweet tooth.
Of course, I was totally yearning for some other wonderful snacks. And by snacks, I mean a heaping plate of penne a la vodka. Yes, as a true foodaholic I have come to consider 10oz. of pasta enveloped in a rich, delightful, cheesy tomato cream sauce as a mere “snack”. But I resisted! I fought temptation!
Oh and did I mention that I took a four hour nap. Seriously, a four hour nap. Anytime I get hungry I try to sleep. Can't think of much else to do.
In case you haven’t realized, I am not only trying to curb my eating habits but I would also like to lose some weight as well. My weight has been up and down so many times that it’s like I am a different person each month. About 9 months ago I lost 30 pounds and was feeling great! But I’ve gained at least 15 pounds back and feel like a whale. I don’t think I’m THAT fat, but hey, WiiFit did call me OBESE! WiiFit you bastard.
So let’s see, besides that peanut butter & jelly sandwich, I ate a cheese sandwich on a whole wheat roll and half a cup of corn (I really love corn). My plans are to fry up some vegetables for later and try those strawberries again.
Let’s go willpower!
Of course, I was totally yearning for some other wonderful snacks. And by snacks, I mean a heaping plate of penne a la vodka. Yes, as a true foodaholic I have come to consider 10oz. of pasta enveloped in a rich, delightful, cheesy tomato cream sauce as a mere “snack”. But I resisted! I fought temptation!
Oh and did I mention that I took a four hour nap. Seriously, a four hour nap. Anytime I get hungry I try to sleep. Can't think of much else to do.
In case you haven’t realized, I am not only trying to curb my eating habits but I would also like to lose some weight as well. My weight has been up and down so many times that it’s like I am a different person each month. About 9 months ago I lost 30 pounds and was feeling great! But I’ve gained at least 15 pounds back and feel like a whale. I don’t think I’m THAT fat, but hey, WiiFit did call me OBESE! WiiFit you bastard.
So let’s see, besides that peanut butter & jelly sandwich, I ate a cheese sandwich on a whole wheat roll and half a cup of corn (I really love corn). My plans are to fry up some vegetables for later and try those strawberries again.
Let’s go willpower!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Day 1
Today I began my venture into changing my life and eating habits. I know it's going to be hard and will possibly even be impossible, but hey, I gotta try.
I was so hungry this morning that I convinced myself I was truly starving. I ate light last night so I didn't go to bed as full and busting like I usually do. When I woke up my stomach was growling like a vicious animal. Oh how I am depriving myself! I think I feel faint. I think my body may be failing due to lack of nourishment! I think...that I'm pathetic. I quickly scarf down a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich made on whole wheat (whole wheat!) bread with a deep fervor as if the world is coming to an end and this peanut butter and jelly sandwich is my only hope. Ooh, much better. I go online to check email and apply for more jobs. I'm excited to find that on one of the sites that I post this on, that a few people have left comments which makes me feel great.
After applying online to a bunch of useless and dead end job, I am exhausted and starving once again. I decide to take a nap in order to not order that pizza I have been daydreaming about. But then, no joke, I dream about the pizza during the whole nap.
I wake up and try to control these horribly unbearable and torturous hunger pains. I watch some HGTV, which usually makes me happy but I'm conflicted as I wrestle with the dilemma of what I will eat for the rest of the day. I'm hurting inside! I feel so lost!
I've decided that if I want to eat something unhealthy that I might as well do it while the day is still early and just eat something healthier at night. As a gift to myself, for all my strength and courage in this difficult time, I award myself with homemade macaroni and cheese. My homemade macaroni and cheese is delicious and fills me with joy and delight. My method is expert.p Usually, I take a box of penne, our it in the pot until it's completely full. When fully cooked, I start adding actual slices of American Cheese. Deli bought. Not those shitty Kraft Singles. Hey, I have some class here. I use some milk and spray butter (you know, to be on the healthy side). When it's done, it's a gigantic heaping plateful of fantasticness and deliciousness. In fact, it's inspirational!
But wait! I'm trying to be good! Okay, this is what I'll do. I measure out one cup of whole wheat penne. I take only two slices of cheese. I make my pasta feeling disappointed as I stare at that teeny tiny minuscule portion. My macaroni and cheese looks sad and tiny in it's pasta bowl barely even filled halfway.
OK wait. I must make a confession. While I was adding the cheese, I noticed a third lonely slice. I wrestled with my emotions over this sad little sliver. I HAD to add him. It was only fair. And a sprinkle of Parmesan. Please don't judge me!
I refrain from the urge to shovel the macaroni in my mouth and try to eat as s l o w l y as I can. By the time the bowl is empty, believe it or not, I feel full! I'm in shock!
OK, yeah yeah, I ate unhealthy. But you can only ask so much of me at a time. Patience is key my friends.
And I have a nice can of vegetable soup planned for dinner. BORING. Find out tomorrow to find out how the rest of my night turned out!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Introduction
My name is Kellie and I am a food-aholic, a true eating machine. My hobbies include cheese, cake, pizza, cookies, pasta, and more. Give me macaroni and cheese, chocolate cupcakes with vanilla icing smothering in rainbow sprinkles, penne a la vodka, and I will love you forever.
Buy me a bowl of Panera's broccoli cheddar soup and don't forget to buy the loaf of fresh french bread with. No, I don't want an apple or chips with my soup. I'll take the extra bread.
Let's get some mozzarella sticks, bacon covered potato skins, and we'll finish it off with a juicy cheeseburger and fries. Cheese fries, of course.
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, you fill me with glee. Every bite leaves me wanting more. My sorrow is deep as I eat that very last bite. But there's always another box.
Mr. Delivery Man, I anxiously await your arrival. I run to the front door every time I hear a noise. The moment that doorbell rings, my heart begins to beat with excitement. I'm in love. You are beautiful as you stand there with my large pizza with extra cheese that I am planning to consume on my own. I see you Mr. Delivery Man as you glance in my apartment, looking for the other person I will be sharing my pizza with. Don't judge me Mr. Delivery Man. That pizza is for me and me alone.
Is this what my life has come to? I don't eat to live, I live to eat! The temptation is all around me on every grocery store shelf, on every street corner. The lights of the fast food restaurants call to me with promises of delicious delights. Eating takes away my pain and my boredom. I try to be good for even a day and I end up baking and eating a dozen cupcakes. Simply put, I love food. It makes me happy.
The problem is that the happiness food provides me is only temporary. Later on, after I've finished my third grilled cheese, I am filled with shame. I develop terrible stomach aches. Sweats have become my new fashion statement because I ate my way out of my old wardrobe. I'm embarrassed when my boyfriend holds me while we lie in bed because I am afraid he will feel my fat rolls. I can suck in my stomach, but I can't hold my breath 24/7.
So what's the answer? Perhaps a new hobby or diet? I doubt my abilities to stick with any of those things. But I'm ready to try. Join me in what is sure to be a difficult but hysterical journey in getting my life back.
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